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man sawing lady in half,'Actually I'm not really a magician..'

Ventriloquist's dummy reads 'Computers for dummies'.

Nicole Kidman

Magician creates magic square

'Let's face it, you have more lines on your face than in the play!'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"He sure can give a great PowerPoint presentation."

Ron Perlman

"You're just starstruck, George."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Who won the Elvis impersonator look-a-like competition?"

Restaurant - Winehouse List: 10 bottles of red...

'You're using real wine? Don't you know Jack never completes a scene in under 20 takes?'

Cilla Black

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"I'll do the talking!"

"You seemed disillusioned."

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

Morgan Freeman

"Ok - when we get to the freeway I'll drive!"

A Trick!

'I'm a star!'

Elvis Impersonator eating money burger.

Please Help - Former Magician's Assistant

Ask for our special showbusiness lunch!

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

Trial by Media

Showbiz Awards

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."