Shopper Singer Gifts

"Well, it's up the escalator, on that second floor, you take a left at men's wear, go past the fabric store."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Everything's gone up."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Fashion Mistake.

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

Complex Carbs

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

Mom & Pop Grocerette

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Shop assistant falling in love with a customer

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

'All these conferences look the same.'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."