Shopper's Champion Gifts

To get customer service please scream loudly 'Dear God is there no one there, what do I have to do to get serviced...I'm going to take my money somewhere else...'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Everything's gone up."

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'I hear voices again! Buy! Buy! Buy!'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

"I need one of them and one of them..."

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Working hard to maintain customer relations