Shopper's Champion Gifts

To get customer service please scream loudly 'Dear God is there no one there, what do I have to do to get serviced...I'm going to take my money somewhere else...'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Everything's gone up."

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

'I hear voices again! Buy! Buy! Buy!'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Working hard to maintain customer relations

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'