Shopper Whisperer Gifts

"It's important to treat ALL customers as INDIVIDUALS. This for example is individual No. 768-po-56cl."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Everything's gone up."

Rising Gas Prices

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

Fashion Mistake.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Granny Wear

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

Stitch one, pearl one...

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'