Sales Whisperer Gifts

"And here's our best telemarketer. She called a shopping network and sold THEM a zircon!"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'It was such a nice salesman who told me that this is a special bargain and all your friends will envy you when you use it as a bottle opener!'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."