Sales Whisperer Gifts

"And here's our best telemarketer. She called a shopping network and sold THEM a zircon!"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'It was such a nice salesman who told me that this is a special bargain and all your friends will envy you when you use it as a bottle opener!'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

Brad seizes upon a hot trend in marketing: personal pop-up ads.

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."