Shopkeeping Sage Gifts

'Good grief!...I'm a shopkeeper not a football manager.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Stationery Shop

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"I'd say business was brisk."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

SupermarketAwful Market.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Uh-oh.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

Down on Her.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

Mom $50 Pop $35

'But what do you sell?'

Marketing - Learn from customers' buying patterns...

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

Books: Closed Down Due To Exasperation.