Shop Savvy Gifts

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"We're all slimming from the manager down!"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"