Shoe Style Detective T-Shirts

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Shrink

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Dog got your clog?'

Hipster Police Department

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

'How come I haven't got a pair of socks?'

"We won't lose any more socks in the laundry...I knotted them all together."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

Fake beggar.

'...can't you read??'

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

"So. . . you're back!"

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

"Do you really want to tell me that you don't know anything about the vanishing of 21 socks within the last four months??!"

"Shhh. I think I heard my name."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

Gurus wise words on lost socks

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

After ditching the footwraps the Russian army faces the lost sock paradox.

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. It's my ball. It's gone right under the sofa."

"Why, you poor child. You're running right over to Brooks Brothers."

"Perhaps THESE are what you're looking for, Professor Moriarty?"

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."