Style Detective T-Shirts

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Why, you poor child. You're running right over to Brooks Brothers."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"Nobody told me it was formal."

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

Butterfly Bow-tie.

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

World Hair Day.

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

'...can't you read??'

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Hmm, no, I think I prefer something off the rack.

Missing socks squad.

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

'We make petites in large sizes.'