Clothes Shopping Detective T-Shirts

"Decades of calculations and we still can't figure out a standard formula for women's clothing sizes."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Hipster Police Department

Internet Shoplifting

'After you with the camouflage.'

Missing sock

The Complete Cycle.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Where missing laundry socks go!

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Style

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"Eric is fitting GPS tracking tags to his socks in a bid to learn more about their migratory habits."

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

Al's Ice Cream 31 Flavors (minus 30).

Undercover Santa

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

'So, Mrs Goat, the X-ray of your stomach has solved a famous mystery: Where do odd socks go?'

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

"Most people don't seem to know this, but if this button is used incorrectly it will cause socks to disappear."

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'

Missing socks squad.

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

'...can't you read??'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"