Clothes Shopping Detective T-Shirts

"Decades of calculations and we still can't figure out a standard formula for women's clothing sizes."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

The Missing Sock Returns

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Missing sock

'After you with the camouflage.'

Hipster Police Department

Internet Shoplifting

The Complete Cycle.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Where missing laundry socks go!

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Style

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Eric is fitting GPS tracking tags to his socks in a bid to learn more about their migratory habits."

Al's Ice Cream 31 Flavors (minus 30).

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

Undercover Santa

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

'So, Mrs Goat, the X-ray of your stomach has solved a famous mystery: Where do odd socks go?'

'...can't you read??'

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

"Most people don't seem to know this, but if this button is used incorrectly it will cause socks to disappear."

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

Hmm, no, I think I prefer something off the rack.

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

Missing socks squad.