Store Detective T-Shirts

'Do you have a store detective on duty at the moment?'

"He's the Store detective - it's company policy to recruit within the firm!"

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

$1: Family Secrets

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Unusual Offers

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

The United States' economy deflating.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Low Hanging Fruit

Alphabet soup

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Have you seen my money?

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'But what do you sell?'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Galen Weston jr. comes clean.

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."