Sales Detective T-Shirts

Roy's no soliciting signs

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'If only every year was an election year.'

The Rubber Ball Company

"#Win!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Pin the blame on the donkey.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

Sale.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

Customer Convention

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Unusual Offers

Orderly Conduct of Sales

The United States' economy deflating.

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Sales tied in knots

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).