Fashion Detective T-Shirts

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

Can I help you sir?

'I haven't seen you for 20 years. If it wasn't for that coat I wouldn't have recognized you.'

"I always thought his mum dressed him."

Hmm, no, I think I prefer something off the rack.

"The fedora looked different in your profile."

Trench Coats

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Hipster Police Department

'I'm not color-blind!'

She's having an affair after work!

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

Girl in cow onesie.

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Western Outfitters.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

Australian Mobile Bar

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

'Just think Nigel, if you weren't wearing grey socks and sandals this could be romantic.'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"Arrr! I'm a product piracy victim! Someone sold me a faked parrot!"

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

'We don't care if you're ZZ Top, ties required for gentlemen.'

"This is our design team and their over-the-top looks."

"Timmy discovers the Island of Lost Logos."