Fit Detective T-Shirts

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Micro and Macro Department,

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Devil in the detail

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

When pedants take a break.

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Forward Planning - The key to Success

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

Think Zero Defects

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"The little one? That's for small print!"

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"This is Clint. He handles the small print!"

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

"I do, too, notice the little things, and most of them irritate me."

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'...can't you read??'