Sofa Detective T-Shirts

"Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. It's my ball. It's gone right under the sofa."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

My comfort zone

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Hipster Police Department

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Of course we don't mind you working from home - we'd just rather it was from your own home, Mr Webb."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'Ed's always been a bit of a dreamer.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

Flexible working

Mystery section...

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."

'We added on to the couch.'

Chillaxing!

"I was thinking we might staycation on the sofa."

"She died doing what she loved."

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'Don't be absurd, Holmes. There is no way Moriarty could get at our Swiss account!'

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."