Style Detective Gifts

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Why, you poor child. You're running right over to Brooks Brothers."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'After you with the camouflage.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Hipster Police Department

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

Butterfly Bow-tie.

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

'...can't you read??'

Missing socks squad.

World Hair Day.

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

'We make petites in large sizes.'

'My teenage daughter just has to dress differently, just like all her friends.'

Breakages must be paid for