Decor Detective Gifts

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Surprise!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Non-Drip ?

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Baby squirrel & Berries

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Pillows in love.

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Art Plagiarism

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

"We're out of flowers."

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

Robotic Flower Arranging

Missing sock

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'I felt that cobblestones in the atrium would add an air of permanence to the company.'