Home Decor Detective Gifts

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'Man, that freaks me out I've lived here over a year and every time I come home that lamp's in a different place,'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Non-Drip ?

Unfinished Funiture Store.

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Tedious Romantic.

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

Two portraits kissing each other

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Man and woman buying furniture.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

Curtains haberdashery