Crime And Decor Connoisseur Gifts

"Dang. Empty. What about the painting? Wouldn't it look great in our den?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

The Philip Marlow family

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

'Make it look like an accident.'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

Crime Writer's Society.

Exposed and imprisoned.

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'Emotional blackmail.'

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'