Style Investigator Gifts

'Oh no, it looks like we've finally run out of ways to dress differently from grownups.'

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"This is daring, but I like it."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Keeping warm.

Dog Dressed to Eat

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Pampered and poodled.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"