Glasses Detective T-Shirts

'If I can find my glasses, I could find my wallet that has the phone number - to find out where I'm supposed to go to get what I need before it's too late.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"So that's where you were last night."

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

The EP-21 spy plane.

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

The latest in Eyewear.

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'After you with the camouflage.'

Hipster Police Department

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Something tells me we're close!'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Make sure they fit straight!'

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

"Don't be silly, Wendy...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

'Because I can get things done. I mean, don't I make him look a lot smarter? And I'm not plain glass. . . I swear!'

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

'No thanks, just squinting.'

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'What do you like about her?'

X-Raying Christmas Presents

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."