Glasses Detective Pillows

'If I can find my glasses, I could find my wallet that has the phone number - to find out where I'm supposed to go to get what I need before it's too late.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"So that's where you were last night."

The EP-21 spy plane.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

The latest in Eyewear.

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Something tells me we're close!'

'Make sure they fit straight!'

"Don't be silly, Wendy...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

'Because I can get things done. I mean, don't I make him look a lot smarter? And I'm not plain glass. . . I swear!'

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

'No thanks, just squinting.'

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'What do you like about her?'

X-Raying Christmas Presents