Magnifying Glass Detective T-Shirts

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"So that's where you were last night."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Optician and the PI.

Shrink

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Corporations' studying a city for its 'pros' and 'cons'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

Sherlock Holmes peering through giant magnifying glass.

"You've got to hand it to Johnson...if anyone has undeclared assets he's the man to find them!"

'There you are!' (Bureau of Missing Persons)

Conspiracy theories club - trust no one! (CCTV cameras watching each other).

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

"Damn. No hat."

"And now here's Nancy with an alternate version of that very same story."

Flea Market

Houdini Goes To A Medium.

Don't worry, I'm not grazing, I'm looking for my contact lens!

Tempo - Announcing our new free call offer! 'There's no such thing as a free launch.'

"We are prepared to offer you a compensation package that includes a significant portion of the Western Hemisphere."

Wow, what's the SPF on this stuff?