Size Detectives T-Shirts

How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"It seemed like a long timeout."

Micro and Macro Department,

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Devil in the detail

Shrink

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Excessive Paperwork

When pedants take a break.

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'