Garment Size Detective T-Shirts

"I've got to the bottom of your sharp stomach pains, your underpants are too small."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Hipster Police Department

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

"President Whipple couldn't make it."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

Federal witness protection agency.

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"You've got to hand it to Johnson...if anyone has undeclared assets he's the man to find them!"

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

'Oh thats just Lady Gaga going to the shops.'

'There you are!' (Bureau of Missing Persons)

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

'...can't you read??'