Garment Size Detective Gifts

"I've got to the bottom of your sharp stomach pains, your underpants are too small."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

Federal witness protection agency.

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

"President Whipple couldn't make it."

Paint. I can't decide between Blood of my Enemies and Candy Apple Red.

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

'I think you may have misunderstood the invitation when it said 'Black Tie Only'!'

Mobile Holmes.

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

"You've got to hand it to Johnson...if anyone has undeclared assets he's the man to find them!"

'Oh thats just Lady Gaga going to the shops.'

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Head, No Service.'

Hmm, no, I think I prefer something off the rack.

'There you are!' (Bureau of Missing Persons)