Size Detective Gifts

Size 0, formerly known as Size 6.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

Shrink

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Devil in the detail

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

When pedants take a break.

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'You must have something in my size?'

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"The little one? That's for small print!"