Size Detective Pillows

Size 0, formerly known as Size 6.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

Devil in the detail

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Shrink

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

When pedants take a break.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'You must have something in my size?'

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

Paint. I can't decide between Blood of my Enemies and Candy Apple Red.

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."