Scale Detective Pillows

Shrink

Critisize your weight.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

The EP-21 spy plane.

Newton's Law and Order.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

What your guitar says about you.

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Please seat to be weighted.

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

'Your weight second opinion.'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

Sitting down

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'LIAR!'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

'You lie!'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Weight Loss Cheat.

Scale SOS!