Scale Collector Pillows

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

Man with each foot on a set of scales.

Critisize your weight.

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"I started a collection!"

Lady Justice.

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

Shrink

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

The dead sea scrolls

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Edmund Spenser

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

Woman and sport trainer

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Milk production

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

'...Err...Could I have a straight glass, Landlord?'

Model steam train pulls into a station

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

'He's a nice boy - It's a shame how some people take advantage!'

"I must not eat pies off the path, I must not eat pies off the path..."