Scale Scanner Pillows

Woman and sport trainer

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Scales

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Fat man on scales.

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

Shrink

What your guitar says about you.

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

Sitting down

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

Using balloons to weigh less.

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'Dad! - Mum's cheating again!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

"Yup, that pound cake did weigh a pound."

Lots of people are lousy at counting calories... and they have the figures to prove it!