Scale Scientist Pillows

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Critisize your weight.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

E=Emcee Squared

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Weight Gain Denial

What your guitar says about you.

Shrink

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Woman and sport trainer

'Your weight second opinion.'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

'LIAR!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

Sitting down

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Woman uses her crutches to make herself appear lighter.

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'You lie!'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'