Scale Philosopher Pillows

Woman on scales.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

Critisize your weight.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

What your guitar says about you.

Shrink

Weight Gain Denial

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Your weight second opinion.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

Sitting down

'LIAR!'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'You lie!'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Woman uses her crutches to make herself appear lighter.

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Time Scales

Scale SOS!

'Looks like all of that dieting was a waste. You were right when you said you have heavy bones.'

Cheating on the Scales.