Scale Cynic Pillows

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

No Immediate Danger

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

Old Rope

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

Mail & Political lies.

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

'Help me, Helen! I'm feeling a momentary lapse of cynicism!'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "I met a lady a while back." "We're both stuck in marriages we don't want to be in. We'd rather be together but we don't have the courage to end things." "What do you mean 'courage?' Ending things isn't 'courageous,' it's cowardly." "Courage means not running from misery, but embracing it, becoming its master, and delivering it upon all those around you with a vengeance."

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."