Testing Cynic Pillows

Teachers hampered by testing.

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

The Forever Stamp

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Famous Oxymorons...

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

Obama builds own gallows.

'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Born Cynical,,,,