Cynicism Explorer Pillows

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

'...Huh! It's not like he means it...'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The Forever Stamp

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Will Self deprecation

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."