Cinematic Cynic Pillows

"I will never read that book, and I'm eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

The Forever Stamp

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Obama builds own gallows.

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

Born Cynical,,,,

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"I didn't like the stamp, I didn't like the opera, and I don't like the movie."