Cinematic Cynic T-Shirts

"I will never read that book, and I'm eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

The Forever Stamp

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Someday

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Gullibility Test $1.00.

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Obama builds own gallows.

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'Huh! Nobody home!'

Born Cynical,,,,

Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

Sucking Up to Gen X

*2020