Cinema Cynic T-Shirts

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

"I graduated from film school,but you don't see me trying to make movies!"

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

'I don't like to go to the cinema. At the movies, the good guys always win, there's nobody I can identify with...' (Caption may be modified.)

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Someday

Gullibility Test $1.00.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

'Yes, but at least I don't fake the whole relationship.'

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Obama builds own gallows.

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

"This looks good."

'Stock prices are down; Bond prices are down; North Korea are threatening nuclear war...have a nice night's sleep.'

Old Rope

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'