Scale Lover Pillows

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Critisize your weight.

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

Weight Gain Denial

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Woman and scales.

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Please seat to be weighted.

'Your weight second opinion.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'LIAR!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'I'm NOT a pedant.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'You lie!'

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"Physics is an exact science. There's no room for anything else."

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

'I love me. . . I love me not!'

Weight Loss Cheat.

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'