Scale Warriors Pillows

'You weight 287 pounds and you will probably eat this card.'

Critisize your weight.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Dieting Motivation.

"You're on mute."

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

What your guitar says about you.

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"And yet, as we look at our lives, can't many of us say, 'My cubicle is too small?"

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"Mother, please!"

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

The perils of working from home

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

"Marcel!! You're on mute!!"