Scale Savant Pillows

Scales

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

TV-Man

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Dieting Motivation.

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

The Plasmas.

Trawling for Fish.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'You're new here, aren't you?'

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

Mind control

Champagne Tasting.

"Cool game!"

"She died doing what she loved."

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

Baroque

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

Canadian Jesus

'Dad, how old were you when you started noticing HD?'

'It's a beautiful day. Go out and click.'