Scale Savant Gifts

Scales

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

TV-Man

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

Dieting Motivation.

The Plasmas.

Trawling for Fish.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'You're new here, aren't you?'

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"God, I love this show!"

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

"Cool game!"

Mind control

Champagne Tasting.

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

"She died doing what she loved."

Baroque

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Canadian Jesus

Let's ask Square ... He always has the right angle on things.

'Dad, how old were you when you started noticing HD?'

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.