Scalpel Savant Gifts

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'You could do that.' I did

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Trawling for Fish.

Edith does ceramics strictly for her own amusement.

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

Anatomy.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Champagne Tasting.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'I love working on these lawyers. They only have two parts, their mouths and their rears...and those are interchangeable.'

Canadian Jesus

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

Jesus Saves

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."

'He's not under yet.'

"Profession?"

'Well,gentlemen,-who's playing God today?'

"Blah blah blah. . ."

'He had a great screwball until his arm went bad.'

'It was one of those last resort operations!...

'You wouldn't dare hit me! You'd break asepsis!'

Pinewood Fencing Club: 'We de-liver'!

'She's all thumbs!'

'Thanks to years of playing video games.'