Scavenger Savant Gifts

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Trawling for Fish.

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'We like to make full use of the space.'

'Is that some kind of a cruel joke? They're not dying, they're turning into Zombies!'

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

A house is full of signs directing where things are stored.

Canadian Jesus

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

Jesus Saves

'This marriage proposal is quite flattering, but why exactly are you called a 'Black Widow'?'

"And as the oceans rise, so too will our power!"

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

'I have satellite TV, satellite radio, satellite telephone and GPS navigation... how can you expect me to be down-to-earth?'

"I'll trade you a banana peel and an apple core for two fish heads."

I think we have a malfunction...

Returning from a Multi-Day

'I believe you did opt for our budget, no frills, no luggage booking.'

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

"Oh that's just my husband saving £150 on some 'satellite-instillation-that-any-old-idiot-could-install'..."

Carrion Helper

'They're at the bottom of the garden for scraps again!'