Scrap Savant Gifts

That's supposed to say garage sale!

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Steeee-rike three!'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'We like to make full use of the space.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

A house is full of signs directing where things are stored.

"Car Boot Sale" at motor salvage depot.

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Self-portraits

"Those aren't just any old doodles, Ms. Jones, they're notes for my graphic novel!"

'This marriage proposal is quite flattering, but why exactly are you called a 'Black Widow'?'

Jesus Saves

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."

'He's not under yet.'

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

'Well,gentlemen,-who's playing God today?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe the simplest modes of travel are the best.

"Attitude-and what attitude would that be, Modom?"

'Scroll down a little...'

' No, it's 'I' before 'E', except after 'C'!'

'He had a great screwball until his arm went bad.'

'You wouldn't dare hit me! You'd break asepsis!'

'You're a cartoonist, I bet.'