Scrapbook Savant Gifts

"The label is meant to go in a ledger for future enjoyment, but for now I'm placing it here, for present enjoyment."

Someone who knows apostrophes

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

"I love your optimism."

'You could do that.' I did

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Tax Collector

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Piggy Bank ATM

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

Deadly sales figures...

Adult Drawing Something Then Colour It In Book.

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

'I can answer your tax question but you have to stop crying first.'