Scrapbook Sage Gifts

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

The Remote Olympics

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

Memory Lane (lined with post-its).

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"Hey... Where'd everybody go?"

'Sonia, do you think we are living through what will become 'The good old days'?'

"Dad, read us a story" "Ask your Mom" "Origin of Mother Goose"

"You better send in 'cheerleading'."

'The secret to finding all knowledge is to use exactly the right keywords when you google.'

'Could we see some figures on that 'gob'?'

'I'll put it this way: throw away the planning book and start scrapbooking.'

Afternoon crafts

"Why thank you. As quarterly reports go, it was very cathartic."

Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

"It's practically impossible to heat this damned place."

Scrap-Booking

You'd like to see my scrapbooks wouldn't you?

'Don't you just love browsing through these old photo albums?'