Scrapbook Savant Pillows

"The label is meant to go in a ledger for future enjoyment, but for now I'm placing it here, for present enjoyment."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I love your optimism."

'You could do that.' I did

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Tax Collector

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Piggy Bank ATM

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

Deadly sales figures...

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

Memory Lane (lined with post-its).

Adult Drawing Something Then Colour It In Book.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')