Screw Savant Gifts

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

I did it my way.

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Trawling for Fish.

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Steeee-rike three!'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Why Icarus Flew Too Close To The Sun

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

Canadian Jesus

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Have you considered the consequences? It's a very slippery slope."

'He's not under yet.'

Skate! Skate! Skate!

"Profession?"

Great customer care is not optional.

Electric motorcycles catch fire in Cuba

Workers cross boundaries to get an energy supply.

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

'Well,gentlemen,-who's playing God today?'

"Attitude-and what attitude would that be, Modom?"

"Blah blah blah. . ."

'You'll be asked to rate my service after the meal, so could you give me a little hint just how much you expect from me?'

'Scroll down a little...'